The path from keeping quiet about what you want to speaking like a powerful woman can be bumpy.
Once you realise no-one’s going to just hand you what you want without you asking for it, and you clear away what’s been stopping you from giving yourself permission to speak up, the inclination to turn up the volume to loud and proud can be whopping.
Bolting out of the gate without training for the race won’t win you the trophy.
I see women get so excited about ditching what’s held them back for so long that they lose their filters of discernment.
Swinging from mouth-wide-shut to blurting it all out usually isn’t the answer, unless you’re entirely present and owning what’s going on for you.
The sweet spot rests near the centre of the scale, and it embodies some of the qualities you used to tread quietly for so long.
Treading quietly usually means you don’t get in anyone else’s way. You steer clear of any sort of behaviour that would support you but might make life tricky for them. It doesn’t allow you to ask for what you want.
But treading quietly has other qualities you can harness that will help you to be a powerful speaker. It gives you the space to listen and observe. It’s open and perceptive and assesses what’s taking place. It allows you to take in a lot of information about another person. You need all of this. Because a real conversation is about two people, not one.
Conversation = to be in verse with another person.
Treading quietly can also embrace the essence of respect. It’s well aware of other people, and can inspire a modicum of grace. These qualities are essential to ensure a real conversation takes place – whether you’re negotiating, confronting an issue, or simply asking for something you want. These qualities are ingredients for the best possible outcome.
Have faith that everything that’s held you back from speaking up can be harnessed to help you move forward as a powerful speaker.
The best communicators are women who are well connected – to themselves firstly, as well as being aware of others. It’s the ability to know what you want, and ask for it, while acknowledging that might not necessarily be comfortable for someone else. It’s the gift of being able to approach the situation accordingly – with love, care, and respect.
Simultaneously you can be gentle and fierce – as a protector of yourself, your boundaries, your needs and desires.
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photo by: Pierre Pocs